Holiday Planning
The Holiday season is here, and we often find ourselves overthinking how to celebrate in a meaningful and less stressful way this year. Here are three things to avoid and three ideas and ground rules for family engagement: a focus on planning and clear communication. You can contribute to a more enjoyable and stress-free annual family holiday gathering focusing on positive interactions and creating lasting memories.
Planning and Clear Communication:
Plan the Schedule: This is very difficult; try not to overschedule yourself. (An example of this would be trying to have two Thanksgiving dinners with both sides of the family, all on the same day). Allow extra time for holiday traffic, crowds, etc., and shipping and weather delays. Don’t try to make everything “perfect,” as things rarely are that way. Do your best, enjoy yourself along the way, and consider what you want to do that will feel special.
Delegate Tasks: If possible, delegate specific tasks to family members to distribute the workload and promote family participation.
Emergency Plan: In case of unexpected issues or conflicts, have a plan in place for how to address them calmly and diplomatically.
Communicate Dietary Restrictions: Be sure to inquire about and accommodate any dietary restrictions or preferences among family members to avoid mealtime stress.
Things to help avoid stress:
Overcommitting: It's essential to avoid over-committing to multiple holiday gatherings or events during the holiday season. Overextending yourself can lead to burnout and increased stress levels. Prioritize the most meaningful gatherings and politely decline others if necessary.
Unresolved Family Conflicts: Lingering family conflicts can escalate during holiday gatherings. Avoid engaging in heated arguments or dredging up past issues. Instead, try to maintain a peaceful atmosphere and focus on positive interactions. Repeats of older discussions that did not work in the past only set the grounds for frustration. If they did not work before, repeating them will make the experience the same and create disappointment.
Set Clear Expectations: Before the holiday gathering, communicate with family members to set clear expectations. Discuss the schedule, activities, and any special arrangements. Your expertise in clear communication can help ensure everyone is on the same page.
Encourage open and respectful communication leading up to any family gathering. Establish ground rules that promote active listening, empathy, and understanding. This can help prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. Think about what your boundaries are (and consider the boundaries of your SO if there is one in the picture). Discuss your boundaries (and those of your SO if applicable) with a trusted friend, relative, or therapist so that you can look at your intentions with the help of another.